What Is The State Of Your Union?

You've heard that relationships take work but maybe you've never really considered exactly what that means. What is the 'work' to be done? Thankfully there is tons of scientific research that reveals the formula for having a great relationship. Being intentional and checking in regularly with your partner about the state of your relationship is one of the keys to happiness and longevity with your partner.

What exactly does this mean?

Well, if you are married or in a long term relationship, you probably talk many times with your partner throughout the day. And if you’re anything like me, those convos usually center around things like the kids, the house, the finances, the never-ending to-do list, and so on.

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But remember way back when...when you first met and started dating? Before life got so complicated? You used to talk, maybe even for hours, about your hopes and dreams for the future, how you felt about each other, and how it felt to be in your relationship.

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These are the conversations that formed the foundation of your relationship.

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Can you even remember the last time you talked with your partner about these things? If this is something you do regularly then congrats! You are doing what ‘master couples’ do to keep their relationship thriving.

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If not, the #gottmaninstitute recommends having a ‘state of the union’ talk once a week. Here are some questions to discuss.

1.     How are you feeling about our relationship?

2.     What do you think is going well?

3.     What would you like to change or improve?

4.     What are your hopes and dreams for the near future?

5.     Is there anything on your mind that you are worried or stressed about?

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​Can you add to this list? Try checking in on your relationship once a week and watch your relationship grow deeper and stronger.